The Village Within

Remember that immense satisfaction when you’ve fixed something, organised a chaotic cupboard, or cooked a meal everyone loves? That feeling of, “Yes! I did that, and it mattered!” Kids crave that too. Deep down, we all want to feel needed, like our efforts make a difference. Our ancestors knew this. Children’s contributions, even the small ones, weren’t just cute; they were integral. Maybe it was gathering firewood, fetching water, or keeping an eye on a younger sibling. They knew their role was important. And that, my friend, is a one-way ticket to intrinsic motivation.

It’s so easy for us to fall into the trap of doing everything for them because it’s faster or “they’re too little.” But when we do that, we inadvertently rob them of that delicious feeling of capability and belonging.
Bringing it Home, Girl: Let’s look for those genuine opportunities. It’s not about heaping them with responsibilities they can’t handle, but about spotting the real ways they can help. “Could you please pass me the tools while I hang this picture? Your help is making this so much easier.” Or when they spontaneously clear their plate, “Thanks so much for doing that, it really helps get the kitchen tidied quickly!” Notice the emphasis on the impact of their help. It’s not just “good job” (though that’s nice too!), it’s “your contribution made a positive difference to our family.” This builds their self-esteem from the inside out, in a way that no amount of empty praise ever could.